Genesis: Nanny, Worst Class
by rford191
Summary: Genesis, who can't stand kids, unwittingly finds himself playing the role of Nanny to three troublesome children. Angeal tries to help, Sephiroth tries to hide, Cloud & Zack get in the way, and general chaos ensues.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The waitress led Genesis and Angeal to a seat by the window. Window seats were Genesis' preference, as long as they gave him a view of the sky; Angeal couldn't care less one way or another.

Handing them each a menu, she said, "Would you gentlemen like a cup of coffee?"

"No thanks," Angeal replied. Coffee made him jittery, and he didn't like the feeling. "A glass of water would be great, though."

"I'll have one," Genesis nodded. "And could you brew it strong?"

"Of course, sir," the waitress replied with a smile.

Genesis nodded. Strong coffee…he needed that. He was never much of a morning person. He could get up in the morning and do what needed to be done, sure as any soldier, but he had no love of it. But, coffee, that beautiful, bitter elixir of life, was what got him through most mornings.

"I hope you're going to drink something other than coffee today," Angeal commented after the waitress had gone.

Genesis frowned. "What does that mean?" he asked. He knew the answer, of course. Some days, he'd drink little besides coffee…and so he often found himself severely dehydrated. His friends routinely teased him about this, but he laughed it off. It was goofy, of course, but it just seemed like he never had enough time to drink the coffee he needed and anything else besides.

Angeal opted not to respond, except by shaking his head as he perused his menu. "Waffles," he read aloud. "That sounds good."

Genesis rolled his eyes. When Angeal said "waffles", he knew that he meant a soup of syrup and sugar seasoned with waffles. "How about something that you can't drown in syrup?" he suggested.

It was Angeal's turn to frown. "I happen to like waffles," he replied. "And I don't drown them in syrup…they just need to achieve the right level of sweetness."

Genesis rolled his eyes again. If Genesis got his energy from caffeine, Angeal got his from sugar; the two were like addicts, but addicted to different substances. "Well," he said, "I think I'm going to get the biscuits and gravy."

Angeal shuddered. "Those things look like throw-up," he observed. "I couldn't imagine eating them first thing in the morning." Genesis turned an annoyed expression toward his friend, and Angeal shrugged abashed. "Sorry," he apologized, "but, seriously, every time I choked down a mouthful, I'd be thinking of choking down a mouthful of –"

"Yes, thank you for that lovely mental picture!" Genesis interrupted. "Why don't I go with eggs and a muffin instead, as I'm not going to be able to eat gravy and biscuits either, at least not after that wonderful description?"

Angeal colored a little, as he really hadn't meant to ruin his friend's breakfast. But, before he could further put his foot in his mouth, the waitress returned with a pot of coffee for Genesis and a glass of water for Angeal.

"Ahhh," Genesis sighed, breathing in the rising steam as he poured a mug of black liquid. "Coffee…"

Angeal rolled his eyes, but said nothing. Genesis brought the coffee to his lips, blew a few times to cool it down, and then took a sip. His contented expression froze, and then morphed into a grotesque and yet hysterical expression of disgust. Clearly forcing himself to swallow the mouthful, he loosed a hiss of repulsion. "What in gods' name did I just imbibe?!" he exclaimed.

"Shh!" Angeal hushed, glancing around. He didn't want his friend to create a scene over one lousy cup of coffee.

Genesis was clearly not about to be hushed, though. "I thought you said this was a great restaurant?" he hissed at his friend, albeit in a lower tone. "I don't think I've had a worse cup of coffee in my life!"

"It _is_ a great restaurant," Angeal spoke, his voice low and somewhat embarrassed. "But it's a sort of Mom and Pop place…their coffee is just…you know…"

"Shit?" Genesis replied, pushing the offending cup away.

At that moment, the waitress returned. "Are you gentlemen ready to order now?" she asked.

"Yes," Angeal answered hurriedly, hoping his friend would behave politely. If there was one subject to get Genesis fired up, it was a bad cup of coffee. "I'll have the berries & cream waffles, please."

"Of course," the waitress smiled. "And you, sir?" she asked Genesis.

Mustering every bit of civility he could for his friend's sake – Angeal loved this little dive, for gods knew what reason – he said, "Yes, I'll have eggs and a muffin please."

The waitress nodded, and with a smile and assurance that it would be right up, left. Angeal was clearly relieved, and Genesis was clearly disgusted. "Why even offer people coffee," he asked, not really expecting an answer, "if all you're going to serve is brown piss?"

Angeal grimaced, but decided to change the subject. "So, what do you think today's big meeting is going to be about?" he asked.

"Who knows," Genesis answered ill humouredly. "But we're going to have to get some coffee – real coffee, I mean – before we head back."

* * *

Genesis had wolfed down his eggs and muffin, and was watching with a bemused mixture of interest and horror as Angeal ate his waffles. The waffles, covered in crushed purple and red berries, sprinkled with powdered sugar, and then topped with a heaping dab of overly sweetened whipped cream looked just about sweet enough to make Genesis sick to his stomach. Angeal, however, clearly thought they were lacking in sweetness, for he was at the moment pouring alternating streams of maple syrup and strawberry pancake syrup over them. Finishing when his waffles seemed to be floating in a sea of swirling, intertwining red, purple and brown, he began to eat anew.

"Gods!" Genesis exclaimed, feeling very nauseous, "It looks like something died and is bleeding out on your plate, Angeal!"

Angeal froze, mid-mouthful. "What?" he asked. Though the word was almost incomprehensible, his tone, muffled though it was, conveyed the meaning.

"Look at that!" Genesis declared, still disgusted. "The gobs of red and purple, and the little rivulets of red and rust…it looks you've gutted some poor animal on your plate, and you're eating its entrails!"

Angeal stared at his friend, food still in place.

At that moment, at a table near them, a baby started to cry. Maybe it had been Genesis' tone that set him off, but something clearly had, for all at once he was crying loudly and adamantly.

"Oh gods," Genesis groaned. "Why do they even let those whiny, obnoxious things into public? Just so they can ruin other people's meals?"

Finally calling up the courage to swallow his mouthful after his friend's rather colorful description of his food, Angeal commented sarcastically, "Gee, I donno. Why would they let whiny things who ruin people's meals into public?"

Genesis shot him a dirty look. "I'm serious!" he complained. "Listen to that!" The baby's screams were now quite loud.

Angeal sighed. "Well, there could be any number of reasons the poor thing is crying," he explained. "He might be hungry…he might need his diaper changed…he might be afraid…"

Genesis stared at his friend, in a manner so expressive of disapproval that it was almost feline in nature. Angeal, from his long years minding his younger siblings, knew an inordinate amount about human young. In fact, Genesis thought, he knew so much that it was almost scary. "_Angeal's parents_," he mused, toying with his earring, "_were almost criminal in forcing him into so unnatural a position…really, it's very demeaning, and, well, feminine for a man to know so much about children._"

"Don't toy with the earring," Angeal sighed. "We can go."

"What?" Genesis asked, breaking from his reflections.

"You're toying with the earring and glaring at me…I get it…we can just go…"

"But…you're not done eating," Genesis replied. As much as the baby's screaming grated on his nerves – and it did – he didn't want to ruin his friend's meal.

"That's ok," Angeal answered. "I don't think I'm in the mood for animal entrails this morning anyway…"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The two friends strolled nonchalantly toward the Shinra building, Angeal's stomach growling with hunger while Genesis slowly sipped his latte.

"Hey, do you think we'd have time to stop in and check on Azimawa?" the redhead wondered.

Angeal cringed at the mention of Genesis' hell-raiser cat. A full four pounds and six ounces of furry, tri-colored insanity, that calico cat was probably the worst behaved, most frustrating, abominably stubborn and utterly determined feline trouble-maker who ever lived. To Genesis, however, she was perfect, and her every flaw was explained away by him. "She's spirited," he'd say, "and, besides, she's scarred from her past life...so of course she's going to do things like that." By her past life, of course, he meant her life before he'd found her: an abandoned, starving and abused kitten, freezing to death one wintry night in a Wutai city. A rush of compassion -- madness, his friends always said -- had seized Genesis, and he'd rescued the little kitten that night, named her "Azimawa" -- which was the Wutai word for "winter" -- and treated her like a princess ever since...a very spoiled princess at that.

"Umm, I donno," Angeal lied. "I think we'd be cutting it awful close...we should probably just head back."

Genesis frowned. Something in his friend's tone struck him as being insincere. "I'm pretty sure we'll be able to make it," he said, "And, besides, I really want to check in on her...I just got that new leather living room set, and I need to make sure she hasn't been chewing on it."

Angeal rolled his eyes and sighed.

"No, seriously!" Genesis explained. "She chewed a hole in the arm of my last chair...which wasn't the end of the world, since it was getting old anyway...but I really don't want her destroying this one."

Angeal frowned. "I thought that was a dog thing?" he asked. "You know, chewing on things?"

Genesis laughed. "I know...it's really funny, isn't it? I mean, I even have to keep my boots hidden away so that she can't find them, because she'll chew on them too." Angeal shook his head in silence. "Here," Genesis declared, pausing to point to a set of tiny depressions in the leather of his boot. "See? She got these months ago, and I still haven't been able to work the marks out."

Angeal shook his head. His friend, rather than being irritated or displeased, was laughing -- actually laughing! -- about the incident; and, for Genesis of all people to laugh about someone wrecking his clothes, something was seriously amiss. "You know, I think you and Raelita had better tie the knot and have a few kids soon."

Genesis' face wrinkled in distaste; as much as he loved his girlfriend, the thought of kids made him sick. "Kids? What are you talking about?"

Angeal sighed. "Well, you clearly need a focus -- other than that miserable cat -- for your paternal instincts...and, the sooner the better, lest she ruin your entire house in the meantime."

Genesis wasn't sure whether he should be more affronted by the attack on poor Azimawa or the insinuation that he needed a nasty, smelly, spoiled child ruining his life. He settled on the latter. "What the heck makes you think I need one of those disgusting, germ-infested rodents running around?"

"C'mon, man," Angeal laughed, "if anything -- _anything_ -- had ever _touched_ your precious boots before, you'd have had its head! I mean, when it comes to your clothes, you're as bad as Sephiroth with his hair."

Genesis glared at Angeal. "For your information," he snapped, "caring about your image doesn't mean that you have to be so obsessed with material things that you'd be cruel to a poor, starved kitten!"

"Yeah," Angeal agreed, "but you'd have been furious if someone else had done that -- much less deliberately!"

"Naturally I'd be upset," Genesis shot back sarcastically, "if a human being was chewing on my boots!" Angeal seemed about to say something, but his friend continued, "And, anyway, when Azimawa does stuff like that, she does it innocently, not maliciously. She's not capable of the sort of carelessness or malevolence that would cause a human to do it."

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Angeal said, "Alright, alright, you're right. I'm sorry I even said anything."

"You should be!"

"Alright, I am...now, are we going to check on the cat, or head back to Shinra?"

* * *

Angeal sighed, settling into the none-too-comfortable Shinra office chairs. After a nauseating session of Genesis baby-talking to his big-eyed, big-eared cat (after he pulled her out of the cupboards, which she'd somehow managed to open despite the fact that he'd secured them against her intrusions), they had come straight here. And now, staring across the empty room, he felt his stomach growl again. He almost wished that he'd eaten his waffles, despite his friend's offensive comments.

"I need another coffee," Genesis' unhappy sigh sounded beside him.

"No you don't," Angeal told him. "You've already had too much coffee." His friend had just finished his third massive cup this morning, and it wasn't even 9 o'clock yet.

At that moment, the conference room doors began to open, and both sets of eyes turned toward them. A cascade of black leather and silver hair announced the latest entrant.

"Sephiroth!" Angeal greeted.

The newcomer nodded slightly, moving rather rigidly toward a seat beside the two. "They better have a damn good reason," he said as he sat down, "for scheduling a meeting on a Saturday morning."

Angeal smirked to himself. "_Another chipper Sephiroth mood..._" he thought.

"And I hope they bring coffee," Genesis added, his tone expressive of self-pity.

"Donuts would be good, too," Angeal conceded.

The doors opened a second time, and all eyes turned toward them. "Good morning!" a peppy voice called out.

Sephiroth grimaced and Genesis seemed too lost in thought to take notice as Zack Fair entered the room, but Angeal greeted him with, "Good morning, Zack."

The dark haired soldier plunked heavily into a chair beside Angeal, and asked, "So, you got any idea why we're here?"

Angeal shook his head. "Nope."

"Oh well," Zack declared lightly. "It's not really like we've got anything better to do on a Saturday morning anyway." Genesis and Sephiroth turned disdainful glances toward him, and he shrugged. "Well, I mean, if it was Saturday _evening_ sure, but the morning?"

Just as Zack finished speaking, the doors parted a third time. A somber gravity descended on the room as Rufus Shinra and an entourage of Turks entered. The men at the table all rose while Rufus headed to the end of the table. He did not look at anyone present, but, seating himself very stiffly, he stared straight across the table, as though no one else in the room existed.

"_Good gods_," Angeal thought as he returned to his seat, "_this must be bad._"

"Sir," Zack's eager voice piped up. Angeal's first instinct was to shush his friend, but Zack's mouth was quicker than his reflexes. "Can you tell us why we're all here?"

Rufus glanced at him slowly, and very coldly, but said nothing. Then, he returned to staring straight down the long table.

Zack laughed lightly, although he made a poor attempt to hush his voice. "Well," he whispered, his tone clearly audible, "either he doesn't know either, or he's not too happy about whatever it is." Angeal cringed as his friend spoke, but Zack smirked rather smugly, as if impressed by his own powers of perception.

"Mr. Fair," Rufus addressed the younger man, speaking for the first time.

Zack's nonchalant attitude disappeared, and he was suddenly standing at attention. "Yes sir!" he replied, his tone now anxious and loud.

"Sit down and shut up."

"Sir yes sir!" Zack shouted, seating himself quickly. Angeal couldn't help but smile at the younger man's fright.

A tramping of feet outside the conference room announced that the most important attendee -- the president himself -- was about to arrive. All at once, the doors opened, and a miniature troop of guards marched in, proceeding the older man. Everyone -- Rufus included, though his face was expressionless as he did so -- rose.

"Gentlemen," President Shinra greeted. "Be seated." Seating himself, he continued, "I'm sure you're all wondering why you've been summoned here." The president smiled, and the sight sent shivers down everyone's back; when President Shinra smiled like that, something was up...something bad. "You might have heard rumors about the Wutai treachery...that our 'ally', Godo Kisaragi, is secretly funding the rest of the Wutai traitors?" A few nods and murmurs of assent went through the assembled company. "Well...we're about to squash his ambitions once and for all," the president smiled evilly.

A pause ensued.

"We're invading his city?" Sephiroth wondered.

"We're sending assassins after him?" Zack ventured eagerly.

"We're going to give him an ultimatum?" Angeal posited. "Desist or be destroyed once and for all?"

"We've kidnapped his children and are going to hold them hostage," Rufus answered, his tone dark and his expression darker yet. He was clearly not happy with the plan. But then, for that matter, neither was anyone present save the president.

"Kidnap...his children?" Zack repeated, somewhat stunned.

"That's right!" the President nodded, grinning a satisfied grin. "We'll tell him that we're 'trying to find them' while he 'tries to find out how money keeps leaking to the rebels'...and, if he doesn't...see the light, well..." His smile explained his intentions clearly.

Genesis scoffed. "You can't be serious!" he said. "You can't just kidnap someone's kids!" Angeal cleared his throat, as if attempting to moderate his friend's words, but Genesis took no heed. "If Godo is assisting the rebels, then he's a rebel. We can defeat him like we defeat the others. But to stoop to kidnapping and threatening his children?"

The president stared at him, astonishment and anger flushing his face. "We are 'stooping' to nothing more than he is stooping to! And I'll remind you that I'm the president of this company, and you had damn well better watch your tone with me!"

Angeal cleared his throat again. "I think what he means, Mr. President, is that this isn't necessarily a move in line with the company's..."

"If I say it is, it is," President Shinra interrupted. "What's more, you have no business criticizing my decisions. You were called here to plan a containment plan, not critique my strategy!"

"Containment?" Sephiroth asked, an eyebrow creeping up on his forehead.

"That's right," the president snapped. "Containment of Yuffie Kisaragi and her younger siblings -- who, gods help us, if they're anything like her, are going to be hell to deal with."

Genesis' face was flushed. As much as he hated kids, the idea of kidnapping and imprisoning them -- even your worst enemies' kids -- was so barbaric that it infuriated and disgusted him. He was above that; _they _were above that! He stood. "Mr. President," he spoke, his voice cold and even, "I will have no part in any kidnapping plans."

His eyes bulging, President Shinra stood too, glaring at Genesis. "You will do as you're told, SOLDIER! The kidnapping is already done...and as for containment..." Here the president's expression brightened, and relaxed into his malicious grin. "Well, you three smart asses -" Here, he pointed at Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth. "You'll be in charge of that...morning, noon and night, they'll be your wards. You're to babysit them, protect them if necessary, and, by the gods, if they escape, it'll be your hides!!"

With this, President Shinra turned on his heel and, trailed closely by his miniature army, stormed out of the room.

"Well," Zack breathed a sigh of relief, "that didn't go as bad as it could have, I suppose."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Can anyone -- anyone! -- tell me why I'm on the list of babysitters?" Sephiroth fumed.

"Well I'm not doing it!" Genesis snapped. "He can kiss my -"

"Maybe you should," Rufus Shinra interrupted, somewhat musingly. All eyes turned toward him. "I'll make sure that nothing happens to them," he assured the men, "but I'd feel safer knowing that they were in your care."

"_You'll_ make sure?" Genesis snapped. "You didn't seem to do such a good job about making sure this didn't happen in the first place."

Rufus' face flushed. "He did this without consulting me," he answered tersely.

"And if he decides to..._dispose_ of them without consulting you?" Genesis returned.

"That's where you three will be useful," Rufus answered. "None of the troops will dare supersede your authority...and you can keep them safe while I have a chance to talk sense to that...father of mine."

Sephiroth had listened glumly to these words, but at last nodded. "Right," he said. "But we might as well come to an understanding now, Genesis. I'm not a babysitter...not now, not ever. You got us into this...you can deal with the problem." With this, he rose and departed the room, without so much as a glance behind him.

"Well, now that we've got this all worked out," Rufus declared, himself rising, "I'll take my leave. Have a good day, gentlemen."

Genesis watched them go, his mouth agape with astonishment and anger. "Can you believe this?" he demanded of Angeal. "They're out of their minds if they think I'm having anything to do with this little scheme."

"Well, you heard what Rufus said," Angeal mused. "Maybe it would be better..."  
"No!" Genesis exclaimed. "Absolutely not!"

* * *

"No!" Genesis practically shouted. "I mean it! I'm not playing nanny for any Wutai brats!"

Angeal sighed. When Genesis' mind was made up like this, there was little anyone could do to change it. And yet, he couldn't rest easy knowing that those poor kids -- alone, frightened, in an alien environment -- were going to be left in the hands of gods knew what kind of insensitive, uncaring foster parents.

"Anyway," Genesis snapped, unfastening the lock to his door, "why don't you take the morons in, if you're so worried about them?"

Angeal sighed again. "You know I can't do that, Genesis."

"Yes, because your place is such a fricking dump."

"Exactly," Angeal admitted. "I couldn't keep kids there…they wouldn't _fit_!" That was, of course quite true, as Angeal was notorious for his horrifically cluttered and unkempt house.

Genesis turned to scowl at him, and then turned the knob to his door. Suddenly, he froze. "Wait a minute," he said. "I forgot to lock this when we checked in on Azimawa earlier."

"Are you sure?" Angeal asked, not necessarily trusting the veracity of his friend's memory.

"Of course I'm sure!" Genesis hissed. Silently unsheathing his rapier, the redhead readied to enter his home. In a flash, the door was open, and he was inside.

"Sir!" a vaguely familiar voice greeted him. He saw a youngish blonde SOLDIER, his hair a peculiar spiked mass reminiscent of Zack's, standing there.

"Sky?" he ventured. "_No, that's not it…_" he realized as soon as he'd said it.

"Cloud, sir," the spikey haired youth answered. "Cloud Strife."

"Ahh yes." _That's it…and what a horrible name it is, too._ "Now, what in the name of President Shinra's teeth are you doing in my house?"

"Sir, the Vice President sent me here to deliver the children."

Genesis froze. "The…what?"

"The children: Yuffie Kisaragi, Grozni Kisaragi and Yukki Kisaragi. They're in the living room."

"You mean…you brought those animals into my house?!" Genesis practically roared.

Cloud stared, stunned, as the redhead tore past him, toward the living room. Bursting through the door, he ran smack dab into a good, solid kick. He felt himself flying backward, his chin throbbing, and landing hard against the floor.

"Take that, Shinra dog!" a high pitched, girlish voice called out. "Now, you willing to listen to reason, or do I have to get really tough with you?"

The next thing Genesis knew, he was lying on his back, staring into the impudent teenaged face of a young woman. "Who the fuck are you?" he asked. "And what the fuck are you doing in my house?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Genesis was standing face to face with his three new wards – Yuffie, the teenager who'd kicked him in the face, Grozni, a youngish boy of about two and a half, and Yukki, an infant who was currently in the arms of a young SOLDIER.

"Alright," he was saying, "if this is going to work, we're going to have to set down some ground rules. And, trust me, you don't hate this as much as I do…but, if we're going to live together, and I'm not going to kill you, this is how it's going to work. First, -"

"First, how about you let us go?" Yuffie interrupted.

He glared at her. "First, no one interrupts me."

"No one tells _me_ what to do!" the young woman sniffed, her nose in the air.

"Second," he continued, staring daggers at her, "you do exactly what I say, when I say, how I say."

"Do you really think we're going to cooperate with our kidnappers?" Yuffie shot back at him. "We're Kisaragi's! We don't take crap from anyone – least of all you Shinra lap dogs!"

"Do you have any idea how lucky you are that you're not a boy?" Genesis growled at her.

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?" she asked. "Am I supposed to be intimidated by your sexism?"

"No," he answered. "I simply mean that, if you _were_ a boy, I'd have no compunction in beating the snot out of you!"

"Well, don't let that stop you!" she taunted. "You think you can take me, huh? Bring it, tough guy!" She stood poised for a fight, her fists clenched and her body in a fighting stance.

At this point, Angeal thought it wise to herd his friend out of the room. "Just take a breath," he told him. "Look at it from her perspective…think of how scared she is…she's just been kidnapped…she has no idea what to expect…just be patient and gentle …keep in mind how scared she is."

"Why," Genesis breathed through clenched teeth, "if I'm not being 'gentle' and 'patient', do you think she's still alive?!"

At that moment, Cloud Strife approached the two friends. "Sir," he said, his voice young and a touch nervous, as he saluted very formally. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Yes," Genesis snapped. "Go hang yourself."

"Yes sir!" Cloud saluted, clearly reflexively. Then he froze. "What, sir?"

"Oh go away!" Genesis replied. "You've caused me enough trouble already."

The young SOLDIER seemed very flustered, so Angeal discreetly signaled for him to depart. "Yes sir," Cloud saluted a final time. Then, marching into the other room where the SOLDIER holding Yukki remained, he disappeared for a moment.

Genesis hardly noticed the youth's departure, but stood stock still, staring out a window forlornly.

Several seconds later, however, Cloud reemerged. "Sir!" he started, ushering a younger, even more timid SOLDIER forward. "We'll leave Yukki with you, then, and take our leave." This said, the unknown SOLDIER extended his arms, revealing a small, tightly wrapped bundle whose eyes and face alone were visible.

Genesis turned to stare at the SOLDIER. His cold gaze caused the younger man to gulp, and freeze in place, as though unsure of what to do.

"Here," Angeal offered, moving forward, "I'll take her."

The SOLDIER gladly relinquished his burden, and he and Cloud practically ran from the residence with barely a farewell gesture.

Genesis had returned to staring out the window. "How," he asked musingly, of no one in particular, "did it come to this?" Angeal cleared his throat, but said nothing. "How could doing the right thing end up costing me so much?"

"It's not really so bad," Angeal broke in, feeling it best to divert these self-pitying thoughts as soon as possible. "It's just taking care of a few kids for a little while."

Genesis turned a cold, silencing glare toward him, and then returned his gaze to the window. "I tried to stop a terrible thing from happening, and so the Cosmos shits on my head as thanks..."

Angeal shifted his weight, unsure of how to respond to that, and fearful that any response he'd make might include laughter. At that moment, however, a crash from the living room drew both men's attention.

"What in the name of all the gods..." Genesis began, his voice rippling with anger.

"Here!" Angeal said quickly, handing him the infant. "Take her -- and mind her head! I'll take care of it." He thought it better to handle the problem -- whatever it was -- himself, rather than letting his friend get involved at this point.

Genesis gaped as the baby was thrust into his hands, and Angeal sprinted into the living room. "What the..." he started. But then, the infant began to cry. Loud, long bouts of earsplitting screams escaped from the tiny mouth, and seemed to roll forth in continuous peels of sobbing. Genesis cringed, and stared stupidly at the infant. He'd forgotten altogether about the crash -- whatever it had been -- in his living room at this point. Now his focus was solely on figuring out what had set the infant off on this crying spree, and how he could make it shut up.

First, he checked how he was holding her. Her head was cradled, just the way he'd seen Angeal do it. And she wasn't squished or otherwise held in an uncomfortable position. She was still wrapped tightly in her blanket, so she couldn't be cold. And yet she was still screaming...and screaming...and screaming. "Oh, shut up already!" Genesis finally bellowed. The poor infant began renewed cries at this outburst.

"Angeal!!" Genesis yelled, hurrying toward the living room to find his friend. "Angeal!! Make it shut up!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Genesis burst into the living room, the screaming infant in his arms, and then froze. All at once, he was oblivious to the wailing baby. "My books!" he gasped. "What...happened?"

There, on the floor in front of him, was his showcase of _Loveless_ books, featuring his rarest and costliest editions. Now, the books were scattered here and there, the case twisted in a foreboding manner, and surrounded by an even more terrible array of random printed pages.

Numbly handing the sobbing child to Angeal, he stepped toward the horrible pile, the remnants of his life's work, his glorious collection. He was only vaguely aware that the infant had grown silent...his mind was too focused on the devastation about him to pay too much attention, however.

"How could this...what on earth..." He couldn't even finish the questions. This was a travesty, a tragedy, so great that he was powerless to articulate his sense of loss. So many of these prize books, some that had taken years of searching to find, were lying in a pile, twisted, ripped and destroyed.

"I didn't mean to knock it over," a young teenage voice explained, half apologetic and half defiant. "I was just trying to get on top of it...but the stupid thing fell over."

"My books..." Genesis moaned, still surveying the devastation. "You've ruined them!"

"It's not too bad," Yuffie shrugged, coming over and brusquely shifting through the pile. "Some of them are still ok...and, anyway, it was all the same story! And you've got more on those shelves over there." She pointed to a set of book shelves still standing.

Genesis glared up at her. "These were the gems of my collection!"

"Collection?" she asked, wrinkling her nose distastefully. "Of dumb books?"

"They weren't 'dumb books'!" Genesis practically roared. "We're talking about 'Loveless' -- every edition every printed! This case held the cream of the crop, the rarest editions, all in perfect condition. Some of these took years to find!! They were priceless!"

Yuffie stared at him, a bemused expression on her face. "Dude, get a real hobby! They're just dumb books!"

Angeal's restraining hand prevented Genesis from springing forward and choking the impudent Kisaragi to within an inch of her life, but just barely.

"Yuffie!" Angeal commanded, "Sit!"

Though she seemed to consider arguing, the sharpness of his tone clearly had an impact on the young woman, for she sat down. "Why don't you take Yukki," Angeal recommended, "and I'll clean this mess up, and see what I can do about saving as many copies as I can?"

Genesis merely groaned in response, although, somewhat mechanically, he took the infant.

All at once, it began to wail anew. Genesis jerked away. "What the f...lying duck is this thing's problem?" he demanded of Angeal, only just moderating his words, as children were present.

"Oh, right, like we don't know what you were going to say," Yuffie sighed, rolling her eyes.

Angeal hurried to take the infant, and she stopped crying as soon as she left Genesis' arms. The SOLDIER cradled her and spoke softly to her for a few minutes, while his friend watched with a mixture of disgust and aggravation. Then Angeal turned to the redhead, and, still speaking low as not to upset the child, said, "Stranger anxiety...sometimes babies cry when they're around strangers."

Genesis glared at him. "You're just as f...lipping much of a stranger as I am, and the stupid baby doesn't cry when _you _hold her!"

"Hey!" Yuffie exclaimed, rising now. "Don't you talk about my sister like that, you Shinra thug!'

Genesis turned to her, his glare taking on a fierce, rather than simply annoyed, quality. "Sit down and shut up!" he ordered.

"Don't you tell me what to do, either!" she shot back.

This was too much for Genesis. Seizing her by the shoulders, he shoved her into a seat, and practically growled, "Don't you dare move a muscle!"

"Ow!!" Yuffie screamed, hitting at Genesis' hands as he withdrew them. "You hurt me!!"

She sprang to her feet as he stepped away, while Genesis recoiled as she continued to smack him. "_What the...?_" he wondered. What was she doing? She was just...hitting him! Not very hard, but she was just standing there and smacking him. "Stop it!" he exclaimed, trying to grab her hands to restrain her. This apparently infuriated her even more, because she started screeching.

"Don't you touch me, pig!" she screamed, smacking him even more vigorously.

Genesis found himself absolutely stunned by this behavior...he had never seen someone act so...so…_irrationally_ before. He'd had people, women included, hit him before of course, but they'd always meant business when they'd done it...they were real hits, hard hits that justified a strong defense. But these...? He couldn't in good conscience hurt this crazy girl to make her stop hitting him like he could someone on a field of battle. Instead, he recoiled further yet, swatting away her feeble strikes as he went.

"You bloody coward!" Yuffie taunted, following him. "Why don't you defend yourself, huh? Are you afraid I'd mop the floor with you?"

Still brushing aside her blows, Genesis turned in desperation to Angeal. The latter took the hint, and again commanded, "Yuffie, sit!"

His tone demanded respect, even from Yuffie Kisaragi, and she meekly obeyed. Genesis stared at his friend, a strange mixture of respect and fury filling him. "The baby _and _the brat?!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

For the past two hours, Yuffie had been, most unwillingly, compelled to remain sitting; Angeal, with no protest, had entertained and looked after the two younger children; and Genesis had sorted through his beloved treasures, sifting the utterly hopeless from the it's-a-long-shot-but-it-might-be-fixable's from the repairable. He'd also found two editions that had, miraculously, escaped damage.

"Alright, are you done obsessing over your stupid books?" Yuffie finally demanded. "I've got better things to do than just sit here!"

Genesis surveyed the now organized devastation despondently, and made no reply except a long, mournful sigh.

"Hey," Angeal addressed his friend, looking up from the two youngsters he was currently playing with, "let's hurry up and get their bedrooms set up...I have to take my Mom grocery shopping. I promised her I'd be there at 2:00."

Genesis stared at him, a look of utter betrayal sweeping his features. "You mean...you intend to leave me alone with these...these _children_?" he asked, lacing the last word with so much distaste that even Angeal's steady expression flinched.

Angeal cleared his throat, saying, "Well, I can check back later, but I really have to meet Mom...you know, she can't drive so well after her surgery, and..."

The remaining words were lost to Genesis' ears in a haze of fearful disbelief. Alone, with three kids? Him, Genesis? No, this couldn't be happening! It was all some sick, disgusting, terrible nightmare...it had to be...

Only the tramping of Angeal's feet as he headed out of the room roused Genesis from his stupor of disbelief. Trailing behind him, protests about to roll off his tongue, he was stopped short by a most unexpected question.

"You don't...have a crib, or something like that, do you?" Angeal asked.

Genesis blinked at the absurdity of the question. "A crib...you mean, like, for a baby?"

"Umm....yeah."

Genesis glared at him. "I don't even have any kids!! What on earth makes you think I'd keep a crib lying around my home?"

Angeal shrugged. "Well, I saw that stroller you keep around here somewhere..."

"That is not mine," Genesis corrected him. "It's Raelita's. And, it's not a stroller for a kid! It's for Azimawa!"

Angeal turned toward him, an eyebrow raised. "A stroller...for a cat?"

"Yes!" Genesis snapped. "Didn't you see the zip-up screen? Raelita thought it would be a good idea, so we can take Azimawa with us when we go for walks."

Angeal cleared his throat. "O...k."

* * *

"Alright," Angeal was saying, "I'll see what I can do as far as finding a crib for you." He shrugged as he explained, "Babies need something that they can't roll off. So, until we get a crib, I have your couch cushions set up on the floor as a temporary bed."

Genesis glared at Angeal. There were the cushions to his beautiful new couch, covered in a sheet and lying on the floor, where Angeal was about to put Yukki Kisaragi. "If she pukes on my new cushions..." he warned.

"Don't worry," Angeal told him. "The sheet can be washed, and leather can be wiped down." Genesis just glared at him. "Anyway," Angeal continued, "Yukki and Grozni can sleep here, in this room. And we've got Yuffie's bed set up in the room across from yours -"

"Wait!" Yuffie interrupted. "You mean...you're planning to sleep up here?"

"No, I generally sleep on the roof," Genesis returned sarcastically.

"The roof?" Yuffie repeated quizzically. Then she frowned. "Hey, I'm being serious! You're not planning to sleep here, are you?"

"Yes, it being my house and all that..."

"No, no," she insisted. "You can't stay up here!"

"What?"

"You can't!" Yuffie insisted, turning almost frantically to Angeal. "Tell him he can't sleep up here!"

Genesis almost laughed. Did this crazy girl actually think that Angeal would tell him he couldn't sleep in his own house, or near these rodents, for that matter, where he could keep a good eye on them?

"Well," Angeal began slowly, "maybe you could sleep downstairs on the couch?"

Genesis nearly fell backwards from sheer shock. "What?" he asked.

"You know, just so the kids are more comfortable," Angeal explained.

Genesis glared at him, suspicion and fury coloring his face. "It's my bedroom!"

"Yeah, but the couch is comfortable," Angeal persisted.

"Not without its cushions," Genesis shot back.

"Oh...I forgot about that," Angeal admitted.

"And, anyway, it's my damn bedroom!!"

Genesis was clearly in a fury, so Angeal discreetly mouthed, "It's ok, I'll take care of it" to Yuffie. Then, he signaled for his friend to follow him. The redhead followed, but he apparently did so only for the reason of chewing his fellow SOLDIER out.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" he demanded of Angeal. "You want to give that crazy little Wutai brat an opening to escape? And how dare you suggest that I give up my own bedroom so that she can try escaping?!"

Angeal let Genesis vent for a few minutes, and then spoke up, although hesitantly, as if not perfectly sure how to phrase what he was thinking. "Well, don't you think...well, that she might be more comfortable knowing that some strange man is at least a floor down from her, and not right next door to her bedroom?"

Genesis stared at his friend, as if the answer was so obvious that he was insulted that the question was posed. "Of course she would be! That would make it much easier for her to escape!"

Angeal cleared his throat tactfully. "Are you sure that she's worried about escaping?"

"Of course she is!" Genesis snapped. "She's a little hell-raiser! Trust me, I've seen her eying up the windows and the doors and the locks. It's the same look that I've seen in Azimawa's eyes when I'm installing new fasteners on the cabinets! Except hers is a malicious look..."

Angeal stared at his friend, as though they were talking two different languages. "Umm…are you sure?"

"Of course!" the redhead replied, growing more aggravated by the second. "Why else would she want me downstairs?"

Angeal shifted his weight uncomfortably, and seemed to grow a shade redder. "Well, think about it...you're a strange guy...one of the guys who kidnapped her -- at least, as far as she knows...she's a young woman, 18, 19 years old...she grew up with the Wutai propaganda about Shinra SOLDIERs."

Genesis shook his head uncomprehendingly. "And?"

"Well, she's uncomfortable having you sleep next door to her," Angeal sighed, exasperated. He was trying to make this as clear as possible, and Genesis just wasn't getting his point.

"I _know_ that!" the redhead snapped, just as exasperated as his friend. '_How many times_,' he wondered, '_are we going to cover the same territory with this stupid conversation?_' "I'll hear her if she tries climbing out the window, or..." Suddenly, his expression froze, and then gave way to disgust. "Oh my gods, you don't mean that she's thinking...?"

Angeal nodded. "She's probably not sure..."

"Oh, gods, that's revolting!" Genesis hissed, disgust distorting his features. "Her? What would even make her _think_ of something that repulsive?"

Angeal cleared his throat. "Well, you know, she's probably just a little uncomfortable by the idea of you sleeping so close to her..."

Genesis shuddered. That someone would assume that he'd try to take advantage of _any _unwilling woman was offensive enough, but the fact that anyone would suppose that he, Genesis, would hit on or be interested in someone as annoying and juvenile as Yuffie Kisiragi was vile to his mind. "Oh gods, we can't have her thinking that," he said, still shuddering.

"Exactly," Angeal agreed.

"Alright, fine...I'll sleep downstairs."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Yuffie had taken the news that Genesis was sleeping downstairs very well -- so well, in fact, that, in the back of Genesis' mind, he wondered if his first supposition hadn't been correct after all. Then, however, he'd been distracted by Angeal's departure, and the terrible reality that he had to take care of three children -- well, an adult who acted like a child, and two children -- all by himself.

"Alright," Genesis declared, trying to sound very positive and in-control, "I suppose you three are hungry?"

"Well, duh, we haven't eaten all day," Yuffie responded, rolling her eyes. "I mean, your friend -- the smart one -- fed Yukki and Grozni, but no one got me anything…"

"Oh," Genesis said, not terribly impressed by her plight, "that's good at least...I don't have to worry about feeding the babies." Seeing a pout forming on her face, he added, "At least, the little ones. Alright, follow me...we'll get you something to eat."

Yuffie followed him, taking the opportunity to study the premises as she went. "Did Shinra build this house?" she asked.

"What? Why?"

She shrugged. "Just curious." He shot her a suspicious glance, but said nothing. They continued toward the kitchen. "So, I suppose you must have a fancy-schmancy security system installed, huh? What with you being an important Shinra guy and everything?"

Genesis turned a knowing gaze toward her. "Don't even think of it...there is no way for you to escape!"

Yuffie balked most unconvincingly at the suggestion. "What? I wasn't thinking of escaping! I'm just...curious!"

"Yeah, yeah," Genesis answered, rolling his eyes. They had reached the kitchen, so he opened the refrigerator and peered inside. "Now, what do you want to eat?"

She shrugged. "Whatever."

"Ok...then I'll make you a sandwich."

"A sandwich?" she repeated, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"Yes..."

"I don't want a _sandwich_," she pouted.

Genesis sighed. "What happened to 'whatever'?"

"Well, you know, I mean whatever, as long as it's actual food!"

"A sandwich is food..."

"Dog food, maybe," Yuffie scoffed.

Genesis sighed again. "Alright, then...how about a bowl of cereal?"

She wrinkled her nose in disgust again.

Grimacing, Genesis said, "Let me guess...cereal isn't food either?"

"Well, when you're ten, sure, but..."

He rolled his eyes, but made no comment. "How about salad?"

"Yeck...what am I? A rabbit?"

"Leftover tuna casserole?"

"Ugh!"

"Steak?"

"Eww."

Clenching his jaw, he shut the refrigerator and opened the freezer. "I could bake this frozen lasagna..."

She made a barfing noise behind him.

"Heat up some fish sticks?"

"I hate fish!"

"Frozen pizza?"

"What kind?"

"Veggie."

"No meat?!"

"Nope..."

"Disgusting!"

Genesis closed his eyes and breathed very deeply. He was trying -- trying -- to control his temper, but she was making it so very difficult. "Well, why don't you _tell_ me what you want, and I'll make it for you?" he suggested through clenched teeth.

"I told you!" Yuffie replied. "Whatever, as long as it's good!"

* * *

Yuffie was sitting on the kitchen counter, eating a bowl of mac and cheese as Genesis finished frying up hot dogs. Finally, after going through the refrigerator, freezer and cupboards, she'd decided on what she wanted to eat. "Hurry up there," she told him. "My macaroni is almost gone!"

Genesis clenched his jaw. "Well, we wouldn't want that, would we now?" he asked sarcastically.

"You know," she continued, "I think you put too much milk in this macaroni. It's pretty thin."

"And yet, the planet is still spinning..."

"Plus I think you undercooked the pasta."

He sighed, but said nothing.

"And, I don't know what brand this is, but the cheese is pretty lousy. The stuff we have in Wutai is much better. This just tastes...well...lousy."

Glaring at her, Genesis demanded, "If it sucks so badly, why are you on your second bowl?!"

"I didn't say it sucked," Yuffie replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Geez, you're sensitive. I was just pointing out what was wrong with it. I mean, other than that, it's not too bad."

Genesis rolled his eyes, taking the franks out of the pan. "Well, your hot dogs are done...I trust they're cooked to your satisfaction, your majesty?"

Yuffie smiled, swallowing a large mouthful of macaroni. "It's about time you Shinra people started showing some respect!" Glancing over at the hotdogs, she frowned. "Well, they're a little darker than..."

"Oh shut up and eat them!!" Genesis exploded.

At that moment, a hideous, shrieking howl tore through the air. Yuffie jumped off the counter, spilling her macaroni in the process, her eyes darting about for the source of the horrifying scream, and Genesis turned an ashen white. "My baby!" he cried. "Azimawa!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Genesis bolted out of the kitchen and tore up the stairs. The horrible shrieks were continuing, and coming from Grozni and Yukki's room. "Azimawa!" Genesis yelped, as yet another piteous screech reached his ears. What, he wondered, in the names of all the gods were they doing to his poor angel? What sort of hideous, evil torture, that only a child's mind could come up with, were they subjecting his poor baby to?

Throwing open the door, he ran inside, his eyes roving the room. After a moment of searching, they settled on his angel. She was atop a table, her back arched and her tail an unnatural thickness, screeching down at Grozni, who was reaching for her. She was a good foot above him, but he was doing his best to cover the distance, stretching as far as he could stretch. "Kit-ty!" he laughed, somehow unfazed by her fearsome shrieking.

Genesis, agape with horror at his cat's predicament, lurched forward, pulling Azimawa from anywhere near the toddler's grasp. "Don't even think of touching her, you!" he scolded.

Azimawa continued to yowl, even as Genesis tried to comfort her, and Grozni, smarting from his rebuke, started to bawl.

"How dare you yell at my brother?" Yuffie demanded, barging past Genesis and toward Grozni. "It's alright," she comforted, holding him. "He's just a big, mean, stupid Shinra thug!"

Genesis, meanwhile, was telling Azimawa, who was struggling to break free of his grasp, "It's alright, my angel...he's just a filthy, nasty Wutai brat. You're safe...I won't let them touch you!"

"Don't worry," the girl was continued to assure her brother, "Yuffie's here. I won't let that fiend hurt you!"

The child and the cat, both still howling, seemed only to irritate each other, so Genesis decided it was best to get Azimawa out of the room. As they departed, Yuffie seemed to manage to quiet her brother, because Grozni's crying ended also. The teenager followed Genesis, demanding loudly, "How dare you scare my brother like that? Just because he was saying 'hi' to that disgusting, ghoulish cat of yours?!"

Azimawa, her eyes big with fright and her ears flat against her head with displeasure, loosed a final howl, and leapt from Genesis' arms. The redhead turned fiercely on the girl, now. "How dare _I_?" he asked. "How dare _you_ talk like that about her?! Did you see what he was doing to her?! Trying to touch her -- trying to _touch _her -- with those gross, tiny, spitty, germ-covered hands of his!"

Yuffie stared open-mouthed at him, for once at a loss for words.

* * *

Genesis was trying to lure Azimawa out of hiding with innumerable cat treats and extraordinarily foul-smelling canned cat food when Angeal returned. "Hey, umm...how's it going?" the dark-haired SOLDIER ventured, although he guessed the answer wasn't going to be a very good one.

"You're never going to believe the hell that I've endured," Genesis groaned. "And my poor Azimawa!" Angeal hesitated for a moment, as if wondering if he dared ask what had happened; Genesis, however, beat him to the punch. "First, Yuffie had to go through the whole kitchen finding things she _didn't_ want to eat before settling on something to eat. Then that miserable little rodent started torturing my poor Princess."

"Which...'miserable little rodent'?" Angeal asked.

"The boy, Grozni," Genesis returned, his voice laced with distaste as he spoke the child's name. "He chased the poor cat over to a table, and had her trapped up there. She was crying -- so piteously -- and he kept pursuing her. She was terrified -- absolutely terrified!!"

"But...what did he do to her?" Angeal wondered, confused by his friend's use of the word 'torture', and the rather mild annoyance that he described.

Genesis glared at him. "I just told you! He chased her over to a table, and wouldn't let her down!"

Fighting to keep still the eyebrow that was trying to creep up his forehead, Angeal asked, "You mean...that's it?" This was clearly the wrong question to ask, because Genesis' expression turned stony. "I mean," Angeal hurried to explain, "he didn't actually hurt her?"

"Of course he hurt her!" Genesis erupted. "The poor little girl has suffered enough emotional trauma in her life already, not to have to be subjected to that sort of terror!"

At that moment, Yuffie's voice came to their ears. "Ahh, I thought I heard you," she said, addressing Angeal. "We've got a problem -- a big problem, mister!" She stood glaring at Angeal, her hand on her hip, in an extremely authoritative and rebuking manner.

"Umm...we do?" the dark-haired SOLDIER managed, at a complete loss to understand either her words or her attitude.

"Yes, we do!" she snapped. "You see that?" Here, she pointed to Genesis, who rolled his eyes at her words. "That _thing_ that you have us living with absolutely will not do!"

"He won't?"

"No, he won't! First of all, he's always putting us down and treating us terribly. Plus, he was yelling at my brother because he tried to say hi to that deranged, hideous cat of his. And, to top it off, he's a gods awful cook."

Angeal cleared his throat. "I see."

"You see?" Genesis broke in at the same time. "This is what I mean! This is what I have to put up with! You hear the way she talks about Azimawa? No respect whatsoever -- even after her brother was torturing her!"

"It's bad enough to be a prisoner," Yuffie was continuing, "without having to endure treatment like this. We are Kisiragis, and no one -- I mean NO ONE! -- talks to us the way this...this..." Once again, she was at a loss for words.

Angeal sighed. This was going to be a long day...a _very _long day.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Angeal had somehow managed to come up with cribs for the younger Kisiragis, as well as a host of other baby supplies -- diapers, food, and the works. "Rufus said to bill all expenses resulting from this assignment to Shinra," he'd explained.

"Even treatment for mental health issues arising from it?" Genesis had asked glumly.

Angeal had pretended to laugh, while Yuffie, seeing everything that he'd bought for the babies, began pouting since he hadn't bought anything for her.

"Here," Genesis told her, offering a plastic bag. "This is for you...you wear it over your head..."

"Oh, very funny," Yuffie grimaced, rolling her eyes.

Meanwhile, hearing bags crinkling, Azimawa had poked her head out, and was clearly debating whether she should continue hiding or come out to scrounge. Genesis caught sight of her, and his expression brightened immediately. "Ohhh," he cooed, elbowing Angeal hard to get his attention, "look at the angel! She heard the bags -- she knows you went shopping! She's coming to see what you bought!" Genesis knelt down to call Azimawa out further. "Come on, angel, come see what we bought! Come on...atta girl, my itty bitty princess! There you go!" he coaxed, as she crept out further. Her eyes were wide and her ears seemed abnormally large as she crept about the room. Genesis, however, was beaming with adoration. "There's a good girl!" he continued. "You don't have to be afraid of the strange people. That's right...Daddy's here."

Angeal rolled his eyes in silence, but Yuffie was less kind. "Oh, gods, he's disgusting!" she exclaimed.

Ignoring Yuffie's outburst, he glanced up at Angeal. "Isn't she smart?" he asked. "You see? She knows you went shopping, and she's coming out to investigate!"

"Oh...umm, yeah, she's very smart," Angeal managed to agree.

Azimawa was sniffing through the bags now, trying to find something worth eating. Nothing, however, appealed to her, and, after a few minutes of ignoring Genesis' baby talk she turned, quite disgustedly, and walked back to safety, under the furniture.

"Oh, do you see how upset the poor Princess is?" Genesis asked, his tone clearly displaying his concern. "She's upset at having these invaders here, in her space!"

"Invaders?" Yuffie shot back. "Are you forgetting that we're _kidnap victims_? I don't think that makes us invaders! More like prisoners!"

"It's only a temporary arrangement," Angeal hurried to assure her. "I'm sure everything will be worked out as quickly as possible."

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Nice try, but a crime is still a crime. I mean, you wouldn't tell someone you murdered, 'Oh, don't worry about it...you're only sorta-kinda dead', would you?"

* * *

Angeal was seated on the floor in front of Yukki, who was now wide awake and intent on playing. The SOLDIER had taken a few rattles and rattling toys out, and picked one of them up. He shook it so that it rattled while Yukki watched, and then set it down. The baby made a response that, to Genesis' ears, sounded like an irritating, gurgling squeal of delight, and then seized the rattle. Shaking it with both hands, the child gurgled with delight, and then began smashing the toy against the ground.

Genesis watched, agape. "What the f...ruck is that kid doing?" he wondered aloud.

Angeal was laughing as he watched her play. "She's practicing grabbing things."

Genesis stared at Angeal, an eyebrow raised. "What?"

But Angeal was busily playing. "How about the ducky?" he asked, picking up a rattling duck. "Ducky?"

Genesis shook his head with disgust, and decided to leave the room. After all, Azimawa needed her dinner...and he was likely to throw up if he remained too much longer.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

When he'd finally mustered the courage to return, Genesis found that Angeal had put all the toys away. "Oh, we're done with our little rattle game?" he asked sarcastically. "But it was such an intellectual pursuit!"

Angeal shot him a dismissive glance, but said to Yukki, "Look, _Genesis_ is here!" Waving his hand slowly and in an exaggerated fashion for the baby's benefit, he continued, "Hello, _Genesis_."

A strange gurgling and a feeble wave, aided by Angeal, greeted the none-too-impressed Genesis. "Do you have any idea how absurd it is to see a grown man goo-goo and gaa-gaa like that?" he asked.

"Well, you have to do that...you're teaching the baby how to greet people. And the rattle game -- that clearly annoyed you so much -- was to associate names with objects, and so she can practice grasping things. Plus, she gets to see what happens...you know, cause and effect...when she hits it, it makes noise, etc."

Genesis stared at his friend disdainfully. "You mean, you have to teach those stupid babies all of that crap? They don't just know?"

Angeal frowned at his friend. "Actually," he told him, "babies aren't stupid at all. Babies as young as eight months old have far more brain ability than adults."

Genesis raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Well, a baby is born with about a hundred billion neurons, which, at least as far as we know, is all that we get. By eight months old, babies can form as many as one thousand trillion synapses. Since these are on a 'use or lose' basis, we lose about half of them by time we reach ten years old."

Genesis' face wrinkled in disgust. "Are you telling me that obnoxious, whining thing who shits in her pants and drools all over the place is smarter than me?"

Angeal shrugged. "I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that those are the numbers."

"Great...well, thanks for that...I guess next time I need some mental stimulation I'll start drooling and blubbering and smashing toys. Oh, and, of course, shitting in my underpants...then maybe I'll be a genius according to you..."

Angeal stared at his friend and sighed. "I'm amazed," he said, "absolutely amazed that you managed to find a woman you didn't scare when you started talking about kids."

Genesis frowned. "Rae has good sense when it comes to kids. She's just like me."

Rolling his eyes, Angeal thought it best not to comment.

Genesis continued, oblivious to his friend, by loosing a sigh. "I really wish she was here now...but, then, it's probably just as well...she shouldn't have to suffer through this torture along with me."

"Yes, quite," Angeal agreed. As bad as it was listening to Genesis' comments, he dreaded to think what it would be like if he had to put up with two adults who were afraid of kids.

"And, anyway, she's probably having a great time," the redhead was continuing. "Hiking through the wilderness, enjoying the quiet and serenity of nature, oblivious to the awful surprise that awaits her when she returns."

"Well, her trip doesn't end for a few days yet," Angeal comforted his friend. "Hopefully we'll have this all straightened out before she gets back."

"I hope so," Genesis sighed.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

After showing his friend how to change a diaper -- the lesson causing Genesis to barf all over the floor -- Angeal had cleaned the floor, tucked the kids in, and left. At the moment, all three Kisiragis -- even Yuffie -- were silently sleeping in their rooms. Genesis, however, was not asleep. He was tossing and turning on his leather couch.

"Damn it!" he cursed. "This thing is so uncomfortable! It's way too soft!" Genesis preferred a bed that was next to rock-hard, with just enough give so that it was slightly more comfortable than the floor. The couch, however, was squishy and soft, and so not at all to his liking. He had been trying for a good hour now to get to sleep, but it just was not happening. "Why in hell can't I just sleep in my own darned room?" he wondered. "I mean, that girl has to be out of her mind to even suppose..."

Suddenly, he froze. He'd heard a low scraping noise overhead.

Sitting up, he listened. For a moment, there was silence. Then, a soft thump and a muffled curse.

He frowned. "_Was that...no, it couldn't be...she wouldn't be up and about this time of night._" Nonetheless, he listened intently. Hastening on the heels of the muttered curse came a new sound...the creaking of a hinge overhead. "_That's the baby's room, isn't it? That's the only one whose hinge creaks...which reminds me, I've got to oil that...but they can't be up and about, can they?_" He suddenly wished Angeal was there. It wasn't possible, was it, for the babies to go creeping about the house in the middle of the night? And, if it was, what else were they capable of?

A minute passed as he listened, hoping that it was just Azimawa he'd heard, creeping about upstairs as she usually did at night. Then, out of nowhere, a screeching electronic wailing split the night.

"Yuffie!!" Genesis screamed, springing to his feet and darting out the front door. That wailing...that was his house alarm. And it meant only one thing: someone had pried the windows open without disabling the alarm. That someone had to be Yuffie, he knew.

He raced out of the front door and around to the side of the house, just in time to see Yuffie scrambling down a bedsheet, a strange, wailing bundle tied about her back. "Hold it right there!" he called. The mist was thick, but he could see her plainly, a good half a dozen yards or so away. "Don't move a muscle, Yuffie!"

The young woman's frame froze for an instant, but then, all at once, she sprinted forward. Cursing, Genesis took off after her. She was a good runner, fast and agile, and she had an advantage over him...she was wearing boots instead of slippers. Nonetheless, he was a well-trained, highly athletic professional SOLDIER, so, even in his slippers and pajamas, he was gaining ground on the young Kisiragi.

All at once, though, a tremendous force impacted with his frame, as though he'd run into a brick wall that had suddenly materialized out of nothing...or, more like, that brick wall had run into him, as it had appeared, moving fast, out of the mist only to careen into him. He flew to the side, crashing to a land an instant before the wall, cursing and questioning, tumbled onto him. "What the hell?" it asked, speaking with Angeal's voice.

"Angeal? What the hell are you doing here, you moron?" Genesis demanded, pushing his friend rather savagely off of him. Not waiting for a response, however, he jumped to his feet. "We've got to catch Yuffie! She escaped through the window!"

With that, he was off, and Angeal hurried to his feet to follow. Genesis could feel a strange, sharp pain in his ankle, and he was sure that, because of Angeal's collision with him, he'd somehow twisted or sprained it. Ignoring the pain, he pushed forward. He hadn't had time to consider why his friend was there, but at the moment he really didn't care. All that mattered was catching up to Yuffie Kisiragi, who had by this time vanished into the fog. It had only taken the few moments when he'd been knocked down, but that was apparently all she needed to disappear from his sight completely. Uttering every curse he knew, Genesis sprinted off in the direction he'd seen her heading last. "When I get my hands on you!" he yelled into the fog, not sure if she'd hear him, but feeling better for issuing the threat all the same. The only reply to his threat, however, was the echo of his friend's footfalls, and the continued crying of babies.

Even with his mind preoccupied with finding the escaped Kisiragi, Genesis couldn't help but be annoyed at the baby's screams. "_What the hell is a kid doing out this time of night_?!" Then, all at once, a flash of understanding hit him. The babies...Grozni and Yukki...that's who was screaming! That was the strange bundle Yuffie had tied to her back!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Once he'd figured out how to find Yuffie -- by following her sibling's cries -- it had been easy for Genesis to catch up to the escaped Kisiragi, and Angeal had been quick to follow. "Give it up, Yuffie," he told her now. She was trapped, her back to a wall, and the two SOLDIER's in front of her. "I told you we'd catch you!"

Yuffie stood defiantly, her eyes darting about as though desperately attempting to come up with a plan, any plan.

"It's ok," Angeal told her. "We're not mad...just give us the kids, and cooperate."

"Not mad?" Genesis repeated, amazed. "We're fricking furious! Look at me! I had to run out here in my slippers and pajamas to chase this little twit!" Here, glancing down at his slippers, Genesis let loose an exclamation of horror. "Oh my gods! Look at my slippers! They're ruined! Look at all this mud!!"

Yuffie hissed in disgust, and Angeal cleared his throat.

Genesis shot him a furious glance. "Rae got me these and the pajama set for our anniversary! Look! Even the legs to my pj's are torn up -- probably from you plowing into me like an ox!"

"Yes, well, maybe we can worry about them later?"

"Later?!" Genesis demanded. "These were a special present from Rae!! And now they're ruined!"

"I wouldn't worry about it," Yuffie scoffed. "They're hideously gaudy. Your girlfriend must have the worst taste in the world." She shrugged. "Well, she is dating you…"

Genesis glared daggers at her. "If there's one thing I will never allow while you're under my roof," he spat out at her, "it's criticizing the light of my life, my sunshine and roses, the most wonderful woman in the world..."

Nearly gagging, Yuffie interrupted, "No problem, as I have no intention of staying under your roof, so I can say whatever I want about your tasteless twit of a girlfriend!"

This insolence was too much for Genesis, who charged forward to lay hold of the escapee. Yuffie sprang to the side, sprinting away from the SOLDIER. Angeal, however -- the one party to the evening's events whose actions were not guided by anger -- jumped forward just as Yuffie moved, stopping her flight instantly as she careened into him.

"What the hell?!" she exclaimed, whimpering in shock as she fell backwards from the impact.

But Angeal's arms were there to catch her -- and the bundle of infants she dropped in the collision. "Yuffie!" he scolded. "Your siblings could have been killed! Here, Genesis!" With this, he kept a strong hold on Yuffie's arm while, as carefully as possible, considering the careless way in which they'd been bundled together, handed the makeshift sling, and the children it held, to Genesis. "Get them out of that damn thing, and make sure you hold them the way I showed you."

Genesis, agape, hesitated. "Why don't I take her? And you take the brats?" he asked.

"You son of a -" Yuffie screamed, her temper obviously flaring at his words. She shook herself violently to be free of Angeal's grasp, but to no avail. "How dare you speak of Kisiragis that way? And you!" Here she turned to Angeal, eyes flaming. "How dare you touch me like this? You're hurting my arm! Let go of me!"

"Umm...not likely," he replied, grimacing as he attempted to hold the younger children safely and hold Yuffie securely.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

It had been a long, slow journey home, despite being fairly close. Yuffie had not ceased her futile escape attempts, cursing loudly and ever-more profanely all the way. Yukki and Grozni had not stopped screaming, seeming to grow even more hysterical when they'd been handed to Genesis. And Genesis had not stopped complaining of the destruction of his ill-fated pajama set, the unfairness that he had been the one saddled with the two babies, and the insolence of Yuffie Kisiragi. Angeal alone had been the silent member of the party, speaking only when it was absolutely necessary to keep Yuffie in line.

Finally, however, they were home. Angeal ushered everyone in, and then led them to the dining room. Only then did he release Yuffie's arm. This action signaled another onslaught of furious ranting from the girl, who decried her ill treatment, the soreness of her arm, and his audacity at even laying a finger on her.

"Yuffie!" he finally commanded. "Be silent already!" She stared at him for a moment, her mouth open as if to speak, but saying nothing. He glared at her sternly, and she seemed to shrink underneath his gaze. "Sit down." With a huff, she obeyed.

"You do realize," Genesis spoke now, addressing Angeal, "whose fault this is, don't you?"

His friend turned to him, an exasperated expression on his usually patient face. "What?"

"Yours! I told you that girl wasn't afraid of me!"

"Afraid of you?" Yuffie scoffed. "Are you insane? Why would I be afraid of a silk-clad Shinra pansy like you?"

Both men turned to her, their faces different shades of surprise. Genesis' face was surprised, affronted rage, and Angeal's was just plain old surprise. "You mean...you weren't nervous about sleeping in a room so close to a strange man?"

Yuffie scoffed again. "No, of course not! Why on earth..." Then she stopped, her expression morphing into one of horror and disgust. "Oh my gods! Did you think...that I thought...that he thought...?!"

"Yes he did," Genesis snapped.

"Oh my gods, that's disgusting!" Yuffie hissed.

"Absolutely vile," Genesis agreed.

"Repulsive!" she added.

"Unthinkably so," the redhead finished. Genesis and Yuffie glanced at each other, exchanged disgusted looks, shook their heads, and then glanced away, shuddering.

Angeal cleared his throat. "Well, I see that now."

"You're a sicko to even think that," Yuffie told him.

"It was obvious that all she wanted was to try to escape," Genesis added.

"Alright, alright," Angeal sighed. "I said I was wrong already!" The other two shuddered again, and Angeal rolled his eyes. "Moving on," Angeal continued pointedly, "we're going to have to do something about this situation."

"Agreed," Yuffie nodded, jumping out of her seat. "Why don't you kidnapping scum let us go?"

Angeal sighed again. "You know, Yuffie," he told her, "diplomacy counts for a lot in negotiations."

"Fine," she shrugged. "How's this? Let us go, or face the wrath of Wutai!"

Here, Genesis erupted in laughter. "Wutai?" he chortled. "You mean, that pathetic, backwards realm of puny, treacherous warlords, who are so busy stabbing each other in the back that Shinra's SOLDIER's are growing fat and lazy with nothing to do, as you fools are taking care of all the work for us?"

Yuffie's face flushed with anger, and she leapt onto Genesis, swinging her fists and cussing up a storm. "You no good son-of-a-Shinra-pig!" she told him, "You're not good enough to speak the names of Wutai's leaders, you worthless..."

Moving quickly to deflect her blows, Genesis ignored the stream of insults and curses that followed. "Get off me!" he snapped, pushing her aside easily.

She, however, jumped back again, her fury clearly not abated. "I'll teach you to respect your betters, Shinra scum!" she told him as she renewed her onslaught.

Rolling his eyes, Angeal stepped forward, took hold of Yuffie, and lifted her, still kicking and screaming, off of his friend. "Cut it out already!"

This time, she made no move to comply, and Genesis, still reeling from her furious, albeit inept, attack, stared at her, his expression a mix of stupefaction and disgust. "You're nothing more than an obnoxious, spoiled brat!" he told her.

Squirming even more furiously in her efforts to attack him, she let loose a verbal barrage. Genesis shook his head. "Really, you'd think the daughter of a king -- even a Wutai one -- would have more dignity and maturity." He scoffed. "For that matter, _any_ dignity and maturity. Instead, you might as well be a six year old!"

"He's right," Angeal agreed. "If you want to be treated as an adult, with respect, then you have to behave like one -- and be worthy of respect."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Apparently, the discussion of respect and maturity had no effect -- on either Yuffie or Genesis, for the Kisiragi, locked in her room, was wailing and demanding to be let out, and Genesis, in the living room, was berating his friend, in tones of self-pity and misery.

"I told you!" he was saying. "I told you it had nothing to do with being nervous! If only you had listened! Then my slippers and pajamas would not be ruined! And she got these on our first anniversary! Our first anniversary!"

Angeal frowned. "I thought she got you that stereo set for your first anniversary?"

Genesis glared at his friend, clearly offended by the other's lapse in memory. "For our first _year_ anniversary!" he said. "This was for our first _quarter_-year anniversary!"

Angeal stared at him. "You mean....you got each other presents for going out for 3 months?"

"Of course!" Genesis moaned. "We thought it would be a romantic gesture. And a quarter year is even more important than our monthly anniversary. And because of you -- you! -- my present from her is ruined!"

Angeal cleared his throat. "Yes, well, as tragic as that is, we really have to plan how we're going..."

"And my ankle is killing me!" Genesis interrupted, completely ignoring his friend. "I must have sprained it -- when you smashed into me like a charging rhino!"

Angeal grimaced. "I thought I was an ox before? How did I get promoted to rhino?" he asked sarcastically, none-too-pleased with his friend's descriptions of him.

Genesis shot him a dirty look. "Ox, rhino, what does it matter? All that matters is that you stampeded into me like a beast, a herd of them, and smashed my poor ankle up and destroyed my clothes!"

"I keep getting better and better," Angeal commented. "Now I'm not just a beast, but a herd of 'em."

"I'm serious!" Genesis retorted, his tone high and whiny. "Why weren't you looking where you going?" Then, he froze, frowning. "And what the heck were you doing out there anyway?"

Angeal shrugged, clearly glad the conversation had taken on a more mature aspect – his friend was actually inquiring about a practical point, rather than simply whining. "Well, I was up and ready just in case....well, you know, you've never been around kids before, and I thought it was likely that you might...I mean, something might come up. And then I heard your house alarm sound, so I was over here as fast I could run."

Genesis stared at him, agape. "I don't believe this!" he huffed. "Not only do you cause the screw-up, but you blame me for it!"

Angeal blinked. "What?"

"You're trying to pin this on me! 'Something might come up' because I've 'never been around kids before'...like it's my fault! Well, nothing would have happened if I hadn't listened to _you_ -- Mr. Mother-of-the-Year -- in the first place!"

Angeal grimaced. "I'm not blaming you for anything, Genesis...you asked why I was up, and I told you. I was worried that something might happen."  
"Yes, like I might be stupid enough to take your advice!"

"Look, you're taking this all wrong," Angeal sighed.

"Am I? I don't think so!"

"You are! You're misunderstanding what I was saying."

"There we go again," Genesis snorted, rising to his feet. "Me..._I'm_ misunderstanding..._I'm_ taking things wrong..._I've _never been around kids."

"Umm..." Angeal started. "You are, you are, and you haven't been."

"That's it!" Genesis huffed, all the frustration and aggravation he'd felt all day finally boiling over. "I'm not going to stand around and listen to this. I'm going to bed -- my _own _bed, and not this damn couch! I can handle things on my own, without your interference. Good night." With this, he turned on his heel, and stomped out of the room. At least, he started to stomp out, but, after the first stomp, realized that he'd forgotten about his twisted ankle. Doing everything in his power to stop himself from whimpering as agony shot through his ankle, he proceeded to limp out of the room.

Angeal shook his head, watching his friend leave. Genesis was not in a good humor, and that was for sure. However, there were still three kids to be watched -- and, if Yuffie's past behavior was any indicator, she might just have a few more tricks up her sleeves. Pulling out his cell phone, Angeal punched in a number, and waited for someone to answer.

"Hello, Cloud? Glad you're not asleep. ... Oh, you were? ... Good, glad it's not a problem. You see, I have some work for you. ... No need to thank me. ... No, I mean it. This is an opportunity you might not be so glad of. ... Well, alright then. Remember how you escorted those kids over earlier? ... Yes, those ones. Well, I'm going to assign you to work with Genesis on this mission. ... Like I said, wait until it's done to thank me. Anyhow, tonight we need someone to patrol around the house to make sure no one gets in, and no one gets out. ... Alright, good to hear." He shook his head as he hung the phone up. Cloud Strife had been ecstatic to receive an assignment working for him and Genesis. "_Let's see if he's so happy when he starts actually working with Genesis_," Angeal thought to himself with a sigh. But, regardless, at least now the house would be patrolled.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Genesis woke, bleary-eyed and ill-humored. The night previous had been a hellish one, even after catching Yuffie. After arguing with Angeal, he'd gone to bed in a huff, only to find that there would be no possibility of sleep with Yuffie screaming in the room next door. Furthermore, his ankle was throbbing terribly, but his extra pillows had been taken for the kids -- so he had nothing on which to elevate his foot.

Matters had gone from bad to worse when his frustration had boiled over, and he'd descended into a shouting match with Yuffie, who was still locked in her room. This commotion had woken both Yukki and Grozni, and soon the whole household was engaged in screaming. Even Azimawa joined in eventually. Things had only quieted down when Angeal had come upstairs, reprimanded Yuffie and Genesis, fed Azimawa, and rocked the two younger children to sleep. Still, it had taken Genesis a good long time after his reprimand and everything had quieted down to finally get back to sleep. It had only been when Azimawa had come into his room, purring loudly, that he'd finally managed to do so. That, though, had been before Azimawa had seen his foot twitch as he slept. As soon as it moved, she had pounced with all her might, sinking her claws and teeth into the moving thing under the sheet -- and through the sheet, into Genesis' flesh.

Genesis had woken quickly, howling in pain. Not only had Azimawa shredded his foot, she had attacked the very ankle he'd twisted only hours earlier. Whimpering and complaining, he had still been careful not to reprimand Azimawa. "You have to be more careful, my baby girl!" he had told her. "That hurts daddy!" Azimawa had responded by putting her ears back, looking extremely annoyed, and exiting the room. "Ohhh," Genesis had moaned, "now she's mad at me..." But, lacking the energy to follow and console her, he laid back and drifted back to sleep. It was a rocky sleep, plagued by guilty dreams of his unreasonable behavior to Azimawa causing her to run away from home forever, but at least it was sleep.

He woke early, not of his own choosing, but Yuffie's. She was awake, and pounding on the door to be let out. "Oh shut up!" he yelled, dragging himself out of bed and stepping onto his hurt foot gingerly.

"Let me out, kidnapper!"

"Shut up!"

"Don't tell me to shut up, criminal scum!"

Genesis grimaced, but tried to concentrate on getting dressed rather than engaging in a shouting war with the teenager down the hall.

She, however, was determined to keep screaming. "Do you hear me, kidnapper? Let me out right now!" She fell silent for a moment, as though waiting to see how Genesis would respond, but then she renewed her verbal assault. "Do you have any idea what you're dealing with, law breaker?" Again, a moment of silence; and then, "You've invoked the wrath of Wutai on you now, do you know that?"

Genesis, still dressing, grimaced, waiting for the next barrage.

"There's only one way to save yourself, and that's by letting us go. Then we might -- might -- be able to spare your miserable lives."

"Oh for goodness sake's, shut up!!" Genesis finally roared, unable to take the aggravation anymore.

"I will not shut up!" she shot back. "No one tells Yuffie Kisiragi to shut up! Now let me out of here!"

Pulling his shirt on quickly, not even bothering to put in his trademark earring, Genesis stomped -- as best as he was able, with an extremely sensitive ankle -- to her door. Unlocking it, even as she continued to scream at him, he threw it open. "There, you're out...now shut the hell up!" he yelled as the door opened.

At the same time, Yuffie jumped back. "Hey!" she cried. "What are you doing coming in here? I'm still in my pajamas!"

This was true enough, because she was clothed in a set of fluffy, fleecy teddy bear pajamas. Genesis stared, agape, at her. "If you didn't want anyone coming over here, then why did you insist that I let you out?"

"I just wanted you to unlock the door, not actually come in, sicko! Now get out!"

Genesis shook his head. The pajamas she was wearing were full length pants matched with a long sleeved shirt. "Sicko? What are you talking about...those things cover about five times what your regular clothes cover!"

Yuffie's eyes bulged, and she stared at him open-mouthed. Before she could respond, however, a third voice caused both her and Genesis to start.

"Excuse me, sir, ma'am," it said. Both turned to see the shy, spikey-haired blond, Cloud. "But I couldn't help but overhear your disagreement. Is there anything that I can do?"

Genesis stared at him in amazement. Had his house turned into a military headquarters? "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

At the same time, Yuffie -- furious that another SOLDIER was around while she was just in her pj's -- shrieked, "Another one! Get out of here! Can't you see that I'm not dressed?"

Cloud, glancing between the two of them, trying to decipher what either had said, moved just in time to avoid being hit by Yuffie's bedroom door, as she slammed it shut.

Genesis closed his eyes and sighed.

"Sir?" Cloud asked. "Is there some way that I can help?"

Genesis grimaced. He didn't know why this kid was here, but at this point it didn't even matter. "Yes," he said. "Go make me a pot of coffee. Strong coffee."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Genesis was drinking his coffee in his library and staring forlornly at the remnants of his collection. He could hear Yuffie, Yukki and Grozni in the kitchen, and he knew that Cloud would be in there with them. From what he'd gathered, Yuffie had decided to make breakfast for herself and her siblings, citing fears of being poisoned by the "Shinra scum"; he'd figured it was better to let her have her way than to try to stop her. Anyway, it kept her away from him, and it gave her something to think about other than escaping.

For his part, he was busy contemplating his losses. How, he wondered, would he ever replace the volumes she'd destroyed? Where would he even find them again? And when would he have the time to do so?

As he sat there, lost in melancholy reflection, he heard a knock at his door. A few minutes later, Cloud's voice greeted, "Ahh, Sir!"

"Cloud," Angeal's voice returned. "Anything to report?"

"No sir. Miss Kisiragi is making breakfast."

"And Genesis?"

"He's in the library, sir."

Genesis thought he heard his friend mutter something like, "Oh dear," but he couldn't be sure. He followed his friend's footsteps into the house, down the hall, and toward the library, calling out, "Come in," before Angeal had even knocked.

The other SOLDIER entered somewhat cautiously, as though he was gauging Genesis' mood before saying anything. "Good morning," he said after a second.

Genesis sighed in response.

"So, no problems with the kids?"

Genesis sighed again.

"Well, that's good then." Genesis was silent. "And how's Azimawa?"

Genesis started. He hadn't seen his Princess all morning. Surely, the fact that it hadn't occurred to him until just now was proof, if nothing else, of what a toll these miserable kids were taking on him. "I don't know," he answered. "I've got to find her. Last night I yelled at her, because she attacked my foot, and I think I hurt her feelings."

Angeal fought hard not to roll his eyes.

"And I haven't seen her all morning. I hope she's ok!"

"Genesis," Angeal said, sighing, "of course she's ok! What could possibly happen to her?"

At that very moment, a high-pitched shriek from the kitchen rent the air. It was Yuffie. "Ugh! Get out of here, you horrible little monster!" Then, a clatter of pans and silverware, and an annoyed feline yowl.

"Azimawa!" Genesis shouted, plunging headlong for the kitchen, and utterly ignoring the pain in his foot as he raced for his precious cat. Angeal raced after him, while the screaming and meowing continued.

"Someone, get it out of here! Keep it away from the food! Help!!" This outcry was met by hissing and growling.

Genesis burst into the kitchen with Angeal hard on his heels. There was Azimawa on the counter, half focused on a bowl of what must have been scrambled eggs, and half focused on hissing at Yuffie; meanwhile, the Kisiragi girl was at the far end of the kitchen, waving the towel she held in what could best be described as a bull-fighter impersonation. In between them was a handful of pans, some spilled food, a broken egg, and a shattered bowl on the floor. "Back!" Yuffie was ordering the unflinching feline in high-pitched tones. "Get out of here!"

Azimawa twitched her tail, but was too busy lapping up the egg mixture to take much notice.

"You!!" Yuffie screeched at Genesis. "That horrible little thing is yours, isn't it? You get it out of here!"

Genesis glared at her, but spoke soothingly to Azimawa. "Oh, my poor baby, are you ok?"

"Get it out!" Yuffie demanded. "She's stealing my food!"

"Poor Azimawa! What did she do to you?" Genesis was continuing, heading toward the cat. Yuffie started to stomp her feet in exasperation.

"What happened?" Angeal wondered, surveying the mess.

Cloud, standing to the side as though he had no idea how to handle this situation, cleared his throat. "Well, sir, Miss Kisiragi was making eggs when the cat -"

"Azimawa!" Genesis interrupted. "She's got a name!"

"Yes sir," Cloud corrected himself hastily. "When Azimawa jumped onto the counter and stuck her head into the bowl. I believe that frightened Miss Kisiragi -"

"Of course it didn't!" Yuffie interrupted. "Nothing frightens a Kisiragi! I was just...startled."

"Right, ma'am. Anyway, the cat -- I mean, Azimawa -- _startled_ Miss Kisiragi, and she jumped back, and in the process knocked a bunch of stuff over..."

"That's not true!" she interrupted again. "It was the cat!"

"The cat has a name!" Genesis warningly repeated.

"And I was trying to keep the two little ones quiet..."

"They have names too!" Yuffie broke in.

"Yes, right. Yukki and Grozni. I was trying to keep Yukki and Grozni quiet...but I think they thought it was funny." Here he shrugged. "And then you came."

Genesis hissed in disgust, casting a disparaging look at the two younger Kisiragis. "Animals!" he hissed. "Who could laugh at victimizing a poor little cat?" He was, at this point, stroking Azimawa as she continued to eat from Yuffie's uncooked breakfast.

"Get her out!" Yuffie whined, flinging the crumpled towel at the cat.

Azimawa jumped as the towel passed by her, finally distracted from her eating, and Genesis gasped, horrified that Yuffie would dare throw something -- anything -- at his baby.

"How dare you abuse an innocent little cat?!" he demanded, trying hard -- and failing completely -- to remain calm.

"How dare you let that horrible little monster eat my food?" she shot back.

"How dare you speak like that about her?!"

"How dare _you_ speak like this to _me_?!"

Blood was clearly boiling on both sides of this argument, so Angeal cleared his throat and spoke, attempting to interject rationality into the mix even as their voices reached a fevered pitch. "Guys, I think we..."

Genesis and Yuffie, however, turned to him in unison, their eyes flashing angrily as they shouted, "Shut up!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Azimawa wagged her tail and frowned in annoyance. What was Genesis thinking, she wondered, to bring all these nasty humans here, to her domain? Who were they, to shoo her off of the counters? Who were they to make nasty faces and yell at her when she came close? The humans were in the kitchen, still fighting, and she could hear their voices all the way into the living room. Pulling her ears flatter against her head, she glared in their direction.

Rising and turning her back to the bickering humans in the kitchen, Azimawa yowled in sheer aggravation. Today, she was sure, was going to be another miserable day. Stalking upstairs, her tail continued to twitch. She needed to chew something. Something hard, something that she could chew and chew and chew to relieve the tension she was feeling. Where were Genesis' boots, she wondered? The soles of those were always challenging for her teeth...

Then, she froze. Something -- she wasn't sure what -- had just moved behind the curtains. She was sure of it. They had just moved, after all, so there had to be something behind them! Every muscle in her thin, sinewy body tensing, she leapt for the curtain. Her teeth sunk in hard on the fabric, but, surprisingly met with no resistance beyond that of the cloth. Still, she was not to be dissuaded. She dug her claws in deep, feeling here and there for whatever creature must be behind them. The fact that she felt nothing only intensified her searching, until it reached a frenzied point. She had snagged and ripped her way half way up the curtain by now, and was still searching madly for the culprit who had moved the curtains. She took no note of the hot air heat that was blowing from a vent nearby, but only continued with her destructive hunting.

Meanwhile, down below, Genesis was berating his friend and his temporary ward. "Now let me make this absolutely clear," he was saying. "Shinra or no Shinra, war or peace -- I don't give a damn! I will personally kill anyone who hurts my little girl!"

His eyes were flashing with fury, and his breathing was ragged, so great was his anger.

Attempting to moderate his anger, Angeal spoke calmly, "We all understand that throwing a towel at her was a bad idea, Genesis, and I don't think anyone meant to _hurt_ Azimawa, but -"

Two high voices interrupted him simultaneously. One was Genesis, who declared hotly, "There are no 'buts' about this! That was an act of abuse, of animal cruelty, and I will NOT tolerate a repeat. Period!"

The other was Yuffie. "Of course I _meant_ to hurt her!" she contradicted. "The filthy little thing was eating out of my food! I am a Princess, a Kisiragi! I do not allow animals to eat my food, much less out of my bowl! And as for your ridiculous friend threatening to kill me, well, I say let the Shinra pig try!"

The renewed outburst drew another onslaught of screeching and tears from the two younger Kisiragis, and Cloud -- who was currently trying to comfort them -- glanced up. "Please!" he pleaded. "Keep it down! You're scaring them!"

"Yes," Angeal agreed. Then, glancing at the two red-faced opponents, he added, "Maybe we should take this out of here, to somewhere out of the kid's hearing."

Yuffie flashed furious eyes at him. "And leave my sister and brother alone with one of your thugs? Not in this lifetime!"

Angeal cleared his throat. "I don't think you have anything to be afraid of, Miss Kisiragi. Cloud here will take-"

"Yes," Genesis interrupted. "We _human beings_ don't go around throwing things at small, frail creatures."

"It was a towel!!" Yuffie exclaimed furiously. "A stupid, little towel!"

"Ok then," Genesis hissed, grabbing a towel. "I'll just do that to them, why don't I?" He raised the towel threateningly in the direction of Grozni and Yukki.

Yuffie began shrieking at the top of her lungs, even as Angeal -- nearly, but not entirely sure, that his friend was only bluffing -- reached forward to take the towel.

"Not such a trifling thing, is it?" Genesis sniffed, setting the towel down. Yuffie had flown over to her siblings, and was shielding them with her own body; she stopped screeching when he dropped the towel. Instead, she stood furiously, and stomped her feet.

"No, of course not," Angeal broke in quickly, taking the towel out of Genesis' reach. "But still, let's not get carried away here...no need to threaten people."

"You...you vile child abuser!" Yuffie hissed. "How _dare_ you threaten my brother and sister?!"

"What?" Genesis returned with a satisfied smirk. "I thought it was no big deal -- even when your victim was much smaller and more delicate. Hypocrite!"

Yuffie's eyes flashed. "It's not a big deal when you're throwing at a disgusting little cat, but these are human beings! Kisiragis, even!"

Genesis rolled his eyes. "Trust me," he told her, "if I intended to brutalize anything for what you did, it wouldn't have been them! Now, I'm only going to say it one more time. Don't. you. ever. touch. Azimawa. again. Do you understand?" This said, he turned on his heel and marched out of the room.

Staring daggers at the retreating SOLDIER's back, she yelled out, "Next time it'll be a frying pan, not a towel!!"


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Genesis had returned to his library, and was surveying the devastation wrought by Yuffie yet again. Seeing that Cloud had been engaged to assist him, a thought had been forming in his mind for some time...and now he found it had taken root. Summoning the young man, he busied himself working on a list. When Cloud entered, he glanced up from his desk.

"Ah, Cloud Strife is it?"

Cloud saluted. "Yes sir."

"Good. Now Cloud, I have an important task for you."

The flicker of a smile toyed with Cloud's lips, but it was gone the next second. Genesis imagined he wouldn't be smiling once he found out the details of his assignment, but he didn't care. "Now then...I have a list here for you of some highly important items you're to retrieve. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

Genesis surveyed the list a final time, and handed it to the youth. "Good," he told him. "Some of these might be harder to come by, but keep at it. Oh, and this is all part of this assignment we're both working on."

"The Kisiragi assignment?" Cloud asked.

"That's right. So it's confidential. And the expense is to be billed to Shinra, do you understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now go."

Cloud saluted again, took the list, and left the room. Genesis smiled to himself, but frowned when, a moment later, the young soldier returned. "Sir?" he asked timidly.

"Yes?"

"Am I reading this correctly, sir? You want me to find various editions of Loveless?"

Genesis nodded. "That's right, SOLDIER. They are replacements for some lost in the line of duty. And Vice President Shinra has give me carte blanche as far as expenses go, and this definitely falls under that umbrella. Any other questions?"

The SOLDIER shifted uncomfortably, but answered only, "No sir."

"Good man. I'm counting on you, SOLDIER. Don't let me down."

"No sir!" Cloud replied, a bit more enthusiastically this time. Genesis smiled to himself as he watched him go. Maybe that _hadn't_ been what Shinra had expected, but they had promised to cover all the expenses he incurred; and, if not for Yuffie, his collection would be intact. Therefore it was Shinra's responsibility to replace what had been lost in the line of duty.

Now that Angeal was here, Genesis had locked himself into his library with a carafe of steaming hot coffee and his books. Taking a well-worn edition of Loveless from the shelf, he lifted it and opened the beloved pages. To him, it was desecration to mark the pages of any book; but this copy had been read and reread so many times that, though unintentionally, the pages were marked with wear. Those, though, were beautiful sights, at least as far as Genesis was concerned. They were signs of loving devotion, of worthiness, of eternal beauty. It brought a smile to his face just to glance at the beloved words, to smell the aging paper.

Then, somebody did the unthinkable, and knocked at his door, breaking him from his reverie.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Genesis growled, but looked up. "Come in," he called.

The door opened, and Angeal's head poked in. "Genesis," the SOLDIER began, "I'm afraid I have rather bad news."

His mind flying to every terrible tragedy that he could imagine, Genesis demanded, "What? What's happened?"

Stepping more fully into the room, Angeal held up a piece of fabric with a strange, rigid shape hanging onto it. It took a moment for Genesis to realize that it was an upstairs curtain -- what was left of it -- with Azimawa clinging on.

A smile broke through the annoyed cover of his expression, and he laughed out loud. "Look at that!" he cried, "She's still hanging on, even when you brought it over here!"

Angeal cleared his throat. "Yes, she is...but I think she's rather done for your curtain."

Genesis shrugged as he bent to pet Azimawa, who still hung to the curtain remnants that Angeal carried, biting here and there as they moved. "How's my baby?" he asked, stroking her head. Her tail twitched, and she turned to face Genesis, her jaws parted in a threatening manner.

Genesis' face creased in concern. "Ohhh," he bemoaned. "Look how upset they've made my poor baby! She's literally climbing the curtains because of them!"

Angeal cleared his throat again. "Yes, well, don't you think you should do something? Like scold her perhaps?"

Genesis scoffed. "After everything that she's been through?"

Angeal rolled his eyes discreetly, but said only, "Well, if you don't think letting her get away with it will reinforce bad behaviors..."

Genesis, however, was too lost in admiring Azimawa's skill at climbing and bemoaning their joint misfortune to take note.

"So," the other SOLDIER changed the subject as he deposited the curtains – and their accompanying feline – on a chair, "I hear you had a task for Cloud Strife?"

Genesis shifted a little, but declared nonchalantly, "That's right."

"Uh huh...and?"

Shrugging, he pretended to return to his open book. "He's...uhh...taking care of it..."

Obvious as it was that he was going to get no answers, Angeal shrugged, and settled into a seat.

"So, any word from on high?" Genesis asked, changing the subject. "Do you know how much longer I'm to be saddled with these rodents?"  
Angeal shook his head with a frown. "The situation in Wutai doesn't look good, I'm afraid to say. Sephiroth heard -- unofficially, of course -- that Kisiragi might be thinking of a military response to the kidnapping."  
Genesis' eyes lit up. "No, really?"  
"Yes, I'm afraid so."  
"Well, that's-" Noting the worried expression on his friend's face, Genesis stopped short of saying "great!"; and, moderating his tone to one of equal mortification, he finished, "terrible...just terrible."  
Angeal nodded, apparently having missed the eager manner with which Genesis had begun. "It'll mean they'll probably throw the kids in jail on some pretext. Enemy combatant, in Yuffie's case."  
Genesis rolled his eyes discreetly. "'Combative enemy' would be more like it," he declared lightly; then, adding with more gravity, "Of course, it would be terrible...but, still, they'd be out of my house."  
Angeal's frown deepened. "Yes. But that's hardly a good thing."  
"Oh no!" the redhead agreed hastily. "Of course not."  
"Gods know how they'd be treated," the older man sighed. "And they're just kids...poor, scared kids."  
Rolling his eyes again, Genesis murmured his feigned agreement. "Oh yes...poor kids..."  
The sudden ring of a phone roused both men from their divergent thoughts, and Genesis lifted the receiver anxiously, hoping that it was good news...like the kids were being moved.  
"Genesis Rhapsodos speaking," he greeted.  
"Genesis," the caller returned. "Glad I caught you." It was Rufus Shinra.  
"Vice-President?"  
"I hear Angeal assigned one of the men under his command to you?"  
"Yes sir. Cloud Strife."  
"That's right...and he's on assignment from you now, is that correct?"  
A bit hesitantly, Genesis returned, "That's right." It was perfectly acceptable, of course, for a senior officer to direct the actions of his junior officers -- provided someone of higher rank hadn't commanded otherwise -- but he couldn't help but feel that the Vice-President would look less than favorably on the task he'd assigned the SOLDIER.  
"Very good," Rufus answered. "I'm sending two more men you're way -- Turks."  
Genesis grimaced. "Thank you, sir. But are you sure that's necessary?" As much as he welcomed the idea of delegating this unpleasant task to others, he was less than thrilled by the prospect of working with Turks.  
"Quite," Rufus answered. "They'll be over in about an hour. Reno and Rude...two of my best men. They're at your disposal."  
"Thank you, sir."  
"You're welcome. Good luck."  
"Sir?"  
"Yes?"  
"Well...any idea...well, how long this assignment is going to be?"  
"No."  
"I see."  
"Is that all?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Good. Adios."  
"Adios."  
Sighing, Genesis set the receiver back on its base. "That was the vice-president," he answered the question that Angeal was clearly about to ask. "He's sending Reno and Rude over. And...and he has no idea how long this is going to take."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

The two Turks stood at attention, and saluted. "Sir!" Reno greeted. "Reporting for duty!"  
Even when he was showing a modicum of respect, Genesis noted, the Turk still seemed to have a sneering, impish air about him. Keeping these reflections to himself, however, he saluted in return. "Good. Now...do you know why you're here?"  
"Some sort of babysitting job, I guess," Reno answered. "The boss-man says you and Angeal need looking after, or something?"  
Genesis frowned. "No. But some kids in our charge do."  
Reno cringed visibly. "Woah...you mean...not the Kisiragis?"  
Sighing, the SOLDIER wondered if nothing was secret anymore. Everyone, it seemed knew about the Kisiragis; just as everyone seemed to know that Cloud was on an assignment from him. "That's right," he acknowledged.  
"Dude, dude, dude!" Reno recoiled. "I'm not into the whole daddy thing. I don't do the diaper changing or..." He trailed off, his eyes focusing on something behind Genesis; and suddenly his expression lightened. "Wow!"  
"Who's that?" an unwelcome voice demanded.  
It was Genesis' turn to cringe, for he recognized the exacting tones at once. "What are you doing down here, Yuffie? I thought I told you to stay upstairs!"  
"I told you before," she sniffed. "I am a Kisiragi. I give orders -- I don't obey them!"  
Brushing past Genesis, Reno offered gallantly, "Well, my beauty, command me as you see fit; _I_ am _your_ slave!"  
Frowning at him, Yuffie returned, "Jump off a cliff." With this, she turned on her heel and marched out of the room.  
"Ohhh, cold!" Reno sighed with a smile. "I like it!" Then, his attention returning to his commanding officer, he cleared his throat. "Sir," he nodded. "I gladly accept the assignment. I will babysit Miss Kisiragi."  
"Wrong," Genesis contradicted. "You will babysit Grozni Kisiragi."  
"Grozni?" Reno repeated, cringing again. "You mean...the boy?"  
"Yes...the two year old," Genesis smiled.  
Reno recoiled visibly. "Me? Why not Rude?"  
"Well," Genesis pondered slowly, "I suppose you could see to Yukki..."  
Reno's eyes lit up. "You mean, Yuffie has a sister?"  
"That's right...you want to watch her?"  
"Of course!"  
"Good," Genesis smiled. "She's upstairs...and she's not even a year old."  
Reno staggered backwards, as if he'd been hit by a ton of bricks. "You mean...a baby?"  
"Yes."  
"As in, a...a baby?"  
"Right."  
"A baby?"  
"A baby."  
"I don't watch babies!"  
"You do now," Genesis contradicted. "Orders of the vice-president, remember." Reno glared at him. "But don't worry...we've got everything you need...there's formula in the kitchen, plenty of diapers stocked, and..."  
"Diapers?"  
"That's right..."  
"Oh gods..." Reno moaned. "This isn't happening."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

With Yukki fast asleep, Reno had had enough of the children's room; so, after a brief taunting of Rude - who was at least as out of his element with this assignment as he was - he set about trying to find Yuffie. So far, his progress had been slow; he had to be careful, after all, not to run into Genesis or Angeal. But, at last, he had spotted her.

Her back was turned to him, and she seemed focused on the casing of a window. Drawing himself up tall and swaggering into the room, Reno coughed gently to alert her to his presence.

She started, turned quickly, and seemed to step deliberately in front of the window frame.

"Trying to escape, are we?" Reno asked with a smirk.

"Of course not!" she snapped. "And I'm sick of you insolent SOLDIERs accusing me of -"

"Honey, honey, I'm not a SOLDIER," Reno interrupted. "And I'm not accusing you of anything."

"You're...not?" Yuffie asked, obviously more than a little surprised.

"Nope," he answered with as charming a smile as he could muster. "I just had heard of...well, the escapade the other night...and I saw you prying the casing off and assumed that you were probably trying to disable the sensor." Yuffie flushed, and seemed about to spout off at this comment, so he hastened to add, "Which I would not have in the least blamed you for doing, I might add, had you in fact been doing so."

Frowning, she asked, "What?"

"Well, it's a prisoner's duty to escape, isn't it?"

She nodded slowly.

"Even a royal prisoner's."

She nodded again.

"Even a beautiful princess'."

Her frown returned. "You said you are not a SOLDIER...but who are you?"

"I," Reno sighed, "am but a humble servant of my country, who - like you - is bound by duties of my own."

"Then you are an enemy of mine," she declared matter-of-factly.

"I certainly hope not," he answered.

"What else can you be? I am a kidnapped prisoner, and you are one of my kidnappers!"

"I hope," Reno returned, edging closer, "we two intelligent adults can see outside of that narrow scope."

"Oh?"

"Yes...we are what our countries make us...but we are also human beings, who can understand and sympathize with each other's plights, are we not?"

Yuffie scoffed. "I don't sympathize with kidnappers."

Reno fought the urge to frown. She was being very difficult, this one. "But perhaps I sympathize with you," he contended.

"Then let us go."

"What?"

"If you sympathize with us, let us go."

"Oh, would that I could," he sighed plaintively. "Would that I could be the means of liberating such a beautiful songbird, setting her free when she's been ensnared by darker forces. But you know that it is not possible."

She scoffed again. "Then you are not sympathetic...if you are not willing to help, you do not care."

"Oh, but I do!" he declared adamantly. "You know that I - like you - have a duty to stop you from escaping. But..." He trailed off, smiling. "I'm sure the SOLDIERS would not look kindly on a renewed escape attempt."

"Are you threatening me?" she demanded hotly.

"Of course not! I am saying that I am glad that I did not witness such a thing - because I would have been duty bound to report it, if I had. But, since I didn't, we may still, I hope, remain on good terms?"  
Frowning hesitantly, Yuffie nodded. "I suppose I _hope_ so," she answered at length. "Even if you are a Shinra lapdog."

Smiling broadly, Reno declared, "You are too kind, my fair princess."

To this, Yuffie only rolled her eyes.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Reno smiled. Despite the fact that he was, officially, tending a baby, things were nonetheless going his way. Yuffie Kisiragi was going to be a hard case, but he was making progress. He had planted the first seed of trust...now, if only there was something he could do to nurture it...

Yuffie wasn't the kind who would be swayed by talk alone...no, she would need some show of his...how had be put it? Sympathy? But nothing too overt, of course. It had to be something she'd notice and appreciate, but nothing too obviously designed to make her appreciate him. Ahhh, decisions, decisions...

The tramping of feet from below roused Reno from his mental pursuit of the Kisiragi princess; and, scurrying out of sight, he watched as Cloud Strife entered the house. Frowning, he saw that the young SOLDIER carried a bundle, wrapped in brown paper.

"What," he wondered, "is that little shit doing? And why does he get to play errand boy while I'm stuck changing diapers?"

Driven by this question, he found himself creeping down the stairs and following the unaware young man toward Genesis' study. He watched him enter, and then crept toward the door. Pressing his ear against it, he listened.

"Sir," he heard Cloud greet his commanding officer. "I've acquired some of the items on your list."

"Ah, good!" he heard Genesis return. "Which ones?"

A crinkling of paper, no doubt denoting the unwrapping of the bundle, answered this question.

"Good work, Strife! I had a devil of a time finding these two volumes the first time around!"

"Just doing my duty, sir."

"Keep this work up, and I'll see that the VP hears just how...invaluable...you've been."

"Th-thank you sir!"

"Good...now, go...and, remember, this is all strictly confidential. No one else needs to know."

"No sir."

Racing back up the stairs as Cloud's footsteps approached the door, Reno came to a halt when he'd reached the landing, and watched the young SOLDIER depart. He couldn't help but feel greatly annoyed, and even more greatly curious.

The idea that someone else got out of changing diapers, while he - Reno! - was stuck doing so irked him to no end - particularly when that someone was a young pup of a SOLDIER. But it was curiosity that was the overriding feeling at the moment. What, he wondered, was Genesis up to? What "volumes" was he talking about? His first thought had been some sort of parenting book...but then he'd made some mention of "the first time around" - and, though he was only marginally acquainted with the SOLDIER, everyone knew Genesis' aversion to kids. There'd be no chance that he'd ever, ever gotten hold of a set of parenting books except in a case like this one...and, as far as he was aware, this whole kidnapping scheme was unprecedented in Shinra's long, and rather sordid, history.

"Hmm..." he mused. "I'm just going to have to find out now..."


End file.
